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Haitian Workshop
“ I have been humiliated all my life”
Father Michael
Lapsley,SSM
The words seared my flesh and entered my soul. It was said by one of the mothers who participated in a Healing of Memories workshop held in "Matthew 25", a small church facility in Port au Prince,from November 20 to November 22, 2009
About half of the 21 participants had their adult sons shot and killed during a 2006 massacre at Grand Ravin. Some of the victims were shot at a football match while others were murdered in their homes with loved ones present One of the women had witnessed 4 of her sons being shot and then was shot at herself, surviving only by "playing dead". In further attacks some had lost everything when their homes were burnt down. The mothers were accompanied by Mr. Evel Fanfan, a fearless human rights lawyer who has championed the cause of justice for the relatives of the victims.
Other participants were young people with a commitment to justice and human rights brought from Jacmel by Fr Rony Fabien who participated and helped with translation .
It was the first visit to Haiti for both Madoda Gcwadi and myself. Haiti is often described as the most impoverished country in the Western Hemisphere less than four hours flying time from New York. We went with Georgette Delinois, President of the Haiti Solidarity Network of the North East (HSNNE) a New Jersey based organisation (that works in solidarity with the poor people in Haiti) and Judith Raymond, also a Haitian American.
For Georgette,herself one of our trained facilitators, and for me too, this was the fulfilment of a dream: to offer such a workshop to "her people".
The pain in the workshop was palpable. On the first night some of the participants did a skit about the massacre. During the story telling, several of the women showed us photos of their dead sons.
Those who were killed were in many cases the breadwinners bringing their families face to face with starvation. Some said they felt guilty eating the food at the workshop whilst those at home were hungry.
What makes it much harder for the wounds to heal is that a number of perpetrators including police officers were arrested and then arbitrarily released without facing trial.
Our presence as willing, respectful and compassionate listeners coming from the US and South Africa was nevertheless balm to their wounds, albeit in a small, but hopefully significant, way.
A sign of appreciation happened when I was waiting for breakfast on the second day and one by one the mothers shyly stepped forward and kissed me.
We did everything in our power to indicate that we had heard their pain, knew that they had all been horribly wronged and deeply respected each of them as people.
One of the most important conversations we had was about forgiveness. None of us find it easy.
Sometimes we increase the burdens,no matter how well meaning we are, by telling hurting people, that they should forgive, whilst their cry is that we should hear their pain. For some, eventually, the journey and choice of forgiveness maybe the key to their healing.
Even our final celebration was permeated by the intense grief and paralysis of the mothers of the dead sons.
At our workshop we promise participants one step on the road to healing, be it a tiny or a giant step.
Our last question to each of the participants was: How was this workshop for you? The responses were
Very welcoming, given strength and respect, extraordinary, proud of herself , life changing, enriched, very good, change of heart, I am so happy - I cannot find words, forgot the pain whilst she was here, rejoiced and partyed, a catalyst, unloading, constructive experience, building eternity, learned to love and forgive, was loaded, now I am empty
I am happy and relaxed, humble, special grace.
Madoda said it was painful and humbling. We both expressed admiration for the participants and their dignity. I said again that I was sorry for the terrible wrongs that have been done to many of the participants
"I respect each of you and will remember you each time I look at the Haitian flag on my desk when I am back in Cape Town"
As well as exploring other possibilities, Georgette is going to assist in setting up a support group among the mothers during a visit in March.
Writing back in New York my heart and body ache with the pain imprinted on me and I pray that we will be able to develop an ongoing healing of memories program in Haiti.
ends